31 December 2016

It's been a very long while since I made a lot of posts at a time. Gone were the days when I felt too excited to just blog about anything. So much have changed. I don't even know what to write now and I actually find it hard to find something to write about. As of the moment, I took some time to look at my blog and, reread some posts and it really seemed like I used to have this passion for writing. I am just so surprised that most of my pics were gone. Perhaps the links where I used to store my pics are not working anymore. I deleted some posts that used to have a lot of pics coz I know would-be readers cannot appreciate them anymore because no pics are found. I would have deleted posts with pics some more but I realized there are too many posts affected and I can't seem to have the time to edit them anymore. For that reason, my apologies. Oh how I wish I could regain my passion to write of about anything, even if sometimes it won't make sense. Or perhaps share here bout what's currently happening to my world so when I get old I could still get to read them. 

I guess I better try and restart writing, hoping I could still do it.

15 October 2016


I reread the last post I've written and I was like, oh my how embarrassing that post was. Now am laughing at it. It might be that I was too caught up with some of my emotions at that time that's why. As days went on, I have had realizations in mind that helped me feel better even up to this time. Let's say am it to the fact that the person never really cared at all. And that so-called girl friend never even cared at all. I knew I've been through most embarrassing scenarios of my life concerning this person but hell yah, life is too beautiful to be spent on worrying, on getting upset, and getting sad over matters which could never be a reality. Really, I am just relieved with the fact that I have more reasons to be happy than reasons to be sad of. Yes, I am alone, independently living alone in this other part of the world but I do not aggravate myself more to really being alone by isolating myself from people, from activities, or from what keeps me keeping alive. I have my ME time like staying at home, and being all by myself but I do go out, drive, walk, and eat. And I am more than thankful I got friends around who always make me feel like am part of their families. 

Maybe, I was just too wrong to care too much over someone who cannot give back the care I used to have. Maybe, we're just destined to be friends but sadly, I should say it really did affect the friendship. Everything for me became different and I am more cautious this time. I should say it is just wise to really think the next time if a certain person is really worth the effort and care. Just another lesson learned I should say. 

Right now, I am A-okay. I am trying to live my life to the fullest, while enduring the beautiful challenges life has to offer. 

05 July 2016

i am at it again 
on to this cycle of love and being heartbroken

at one point, i became happy because of this one great person i knew
no label in the relationship, yet we were happy
then i fell for him, secretly
i cared so much about him
i sometimes tell him indirectly how i feel and he just laugh at me, always
yet i knew he never liked me as more of a friend
coz had he liked me, he would have told me
awkward moments came next
then time became so mean
i miss his company
i miss him
i started to get hurt
coz i miss how we once were
now there came another girl in the picture
she took the place where i used to.
them always seeing each other
without me knowing it
and i feel like am being left out
suddenly jealousy hits me
i can't help it
i wanted to explode, breakdown, cry, and get mad at the person
yet i never had any right
coz there's never an "us"

this is my story.