15 August 2010

Unforgettable 8.14.10

August 14, 2010
9:10PM

I never thought that the joys I encountered at work earlier despite having a busy shift would have turned out to be BAD upon reaching home. I was actually rushing home, wanting to eat (since I haven't eaten lunch!) and got excited to finally rest on the last day of my function as the medicating NOD.

I really thought everything's going to be alright.
I really thought I could have my much needed rest and retire early to sleep.
But it isn't.

I got a bad encounter with my older sibling a few minutes back, moments after I arrived home--- this is something which in my heart is unforgettable. It's among my unforgettable confrontational encounter with him because the incident leaves me terrified until now, and I can't get to keep myself away from crying. I never intended to make an argument over a simple issue because I don't want to keep my father awake who's already asleep PLUS, I am so tired and simply wanted to sleep early and most importantly, I don't want to argue with him whom I think is a bit drunk because of his reddened face plus the fact that he has become so moody these days where I think I have inch why he's acting so differently at times. I can't really forget how he talked so loud, how he forcefully grabbed that bowl with soup in it where I am afraid it would break once it falls on the floor leaving my uniform so wet if that happens, and the look of his raging eyes which have grown bigger in front of me as if he's going to eat me alive! That scene leaves me terrified and I found myself shaking with fear and eventually broke down and cried trying not to let my sleeping father noticed that I am crying.

I am deeply hurt with the incident.
It isn't the first time I've been hurt by this older sibling of mine.
I admit I tend to get confrontational at times over some of his issues but for Pete's sake, this isn't for me. I wanted him to be aware of his responsibilities and make him more independent because he's not getting any younger. My parents are neither getting any younger that's why he should take steps that would make my parents even more prouder of him. I knew the sentiments of my parents for him and he's well aware too and yet, they're still very supportive on him.

I still believe everything happens for a reason.
I still believe that he's going to make a difference someday.
And I still believe that he's going to change for the better.

As of now, I am still armed with prayers with my faith to GOD set up high that everything's going to be okay soon.

I only wish for one thing in the family:
To simply live and be contented as we soundly live our lives to the fullest.

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